Civil War ISN'T! Of course! If it is CIVIL, it is not WAR.
If it is WAR, it is anything but CIVIL. And every war that has
ever been fought with that designation, from our own a century-and-a-half ago, to some of the horrific conflicts we see on the
news from Africa and the Middle East.
Our lesson tells the story of Israel's ancient Civil War,
the attempted overthrow of King David by his son, Absalom.
Absalom was David's third oldest son, the child of a union with
the princess of a neighboring city-state,(1) no doubt to consummate
a political alliance, as was the practice of the day.
The first time we hear anything of Absalom beyond his brief
birth announcement is as the avenging hero in a tawdry family
drama.(2) It seems that David's eldest son, Amnon, had become
romantically obsessed with his half-sister (and Absalom's full
sister) Tamar. Passion took over. Amnon raped Tamar. Tamar
told Absalom. Absalom gave her refuge in his home and coldly
plotted revenge.
Two years went by. Absalom invited Amnon to a sheep-shearing party, got him drunk and had him killed. Father David
was not happy. Absalom took off and found refuge with his
maternal grandfather, Talmai, the king of Geshur, with whom he
stayed for three years.
It proved to be the beginning of his public career and, at
the same time, the beginning of the end of his relationship with
his father David. There was something dashing about Absalom that
had remarkable appeal. Perhaps it was that magnificent head of
hair of his. Once a year he would have it trimmed, they say, and
legend had it that the clippings tipped the scales at three and a
half pounds.(3) The nation saw this daring young man as something
special.
Meanwhile, unknown to Absalom, David was mourning the
destruction of his family. He hated the fact that Amnon was
dead, but he hated as well that Absalom may as well have been.
He was gone. Here we meet Joab, commander of David's military
and an all-round good friend. Seeing David's distress, he
arranged a bit of chicanery to force the king into agreeing to
immunity for Absalom, so the young man returns to Jerusalem.
Perhaps the ship of state would have had smooth sailing
after that if only David had not second-guessed himself. Instead
of the welcome home and promised freedom that had been originally
offered to Absalom, the young man was now placed under a modified
house arrest with instructions that the he should have no contact
with the king. Nonetheless, Absalom thrived and his reputation
grew and prospered.
Two years went by. Absalom wanted to meet with his father.
He contacted Joab to see if he might act as an intermediary.
Joab ignored him. He contacted him again. He still ignored him.
Finally, Absalom had his men set fire to Joab's barley field;
THAT got his attention. He agreed to intercede, David relented,
father and son met, and we are now back to some semblance of
normal (at least as normal as this brutally dysfunctional family
might ever hope to be).
Who can say precisely when it was that Absalom decided that
he should be king instead of his father? No matter. That IS the
path he embarked upon. He played his political cards right,
bided his time, and when the moment finally arrived, about half
of the nation was ready to support him.
Four years had gone by. Time for Absalom to make his move.
Civil War. Soon David and his entourage were forced to flee
Jerusalem for their lives. As popular as Absalom had become,
David still had loyal support, so the conflict would not just be
a walk-over. The battle lines were drawn.
Please remember that David was no country bumpkin. To this
day he is known as Israel's greatest king, and that is no
accident. Once this rebellion had commenced, the king arranged
for some deception of his own - Absalom would get bad advice;
Absalom would have spies reporting his every move; Absalom would
be forced to fight over unfamiliar terrain; Absalom would lose.
And here we come to today's lesson.
The pageantry of the scene was breath-taking - thousands of
troops massed against each other and ready for battle. The heart
races, the breathing quickens, the adrenalin rushes. At Central
Command, King David gives final instructions to his generals: get
Absalom, but be gentle with him.
We know how it comes out. Terrible carnage - 20,000
casualties. Proof once again that "Civil War Isn't."
Ironically, it was that beautiful hair of Absalom's that proved
his undoing. Got it caught fast in the branches of an oak tree
when his mule tried to run under it to escape his father's hard-charging troops. There was Absalom, the first of what would
prove to be a number of politicians through the centuries to be
left twisting slowly, slowly in the breeze.
General Joab gets wind of Absalom's predicament. Perhaps he
was angry that the boy would take up arms against his father;
perhaps he was figuring this would save the nation; perhaps he
was still mad about the fire in his barley field. So, despite
specific instructions to the contrary, Joab ran Absalom through
right where he hung, threw his body into a pit in the forest and
covered it up with rocks. Then, smart enough to know what might
happen to the bearer of bad news, he had somebody else report the
news to the king.
When the messenger arrived, the first words out of David's
mouth were, "Is the young man Absalom safe?" Oh, he cared about
the progress of the battle, but not as much as the well-being of
his son. First things first. Then the news, and a father's
heart-felt cry of pain: "O my son Absalom! My son, my son
Absalom! If only I had died instead of you--O Absalom, my son, my
son!"
It was deep, sincere, gut-wrenching and perhaps the most
honest David had ever sounded about anything. Even when his
troops tried to comfort him with the reminder that he had won the
victory, that the rebellion had failed, and even when his friend
and confidant Joab got downright testy with him for appearing to
be totally ungrateful to the very men who had remained faithful
to him, all David could really say was, "But he was my son!"
That was all that mattered. So sad.
Fascinating story, no question. For sheer drama, we would
be hard-pressed to find better. But remember this is more than
literature; this is scripture. What is it that God would have us
take away from it? That the apple never falls too far from the
tree? That Absalom's bad behavior was simply the fruit of
David's own? That we should be careful about provoking our
children or someday they might try a palace coup? That hard as
we try, sometimes "Stuff Happens?" That "Civil War Isn't?" No.
This is no morality tale. This is simply history. This is a
reminder that God's purposes will always prevail, even in the
midst of horrible circumstances.
But there is a lesson that is as modern as tomorrow's
newspaper when we notice that this story is joined at the hip in
the lectionary with the Epistle lesson from Ephesians giving
instructions to the church. Listen to the passage again the way
Eugene Peterson renders it in The Message:(4)
...no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor
the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to
each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end
up lying to yourself. Go ahead and be angry. You do
well to be angry--but don't use your anger as fuel for
revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed
angry...Did you used to make ends meet by stealing?
Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help
others who can't work. Watch the way you talk. Let
nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth...Make a
clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk.
Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one
another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ
forgave you. Watch what God does, and then you do it,
like children who learn proper behavior from their
parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep
company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how
Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but
extravagant...Love like that.
We need those reminders these days, because there is simply
too much nastiness lurking about. There is a mean-spiritedness
and an incivility out there that is toxic. I doubt that the
situation started with the partisan politicians in Washington,
but there is no doubt they have raised it to its current unsavory
level. Society has seen the behavior and too many have adopted
it as acceptably their own.
So saying, the church is in the midst of this uncivil social
order and the result is that some of the horrid behavior from out
on the street has sneaked through our doors. The most recent
evidence is the battle American Episcopalians are having over the
election of a man who happens to be homosexual as Bishop of New
Hampshire. Some Episcopalians are thrilled; some are horrified.
The rhetoric has been fast and furious, and, as is often the
case, lots more heat than light has been generated. It is no
exaggeration to say that this is now an ecclesiastical civil war.
Stay tuned.
Of course we know the issue is not unique to Episcopalians.
Most protestant churches, including our own, are at varying
stages of struggle with questions of human sexuality. The pope
has just restated the Roman Catholic church's opposition to same-sex unions, but as the recent scandals, largely of a homosexual
nature, show, the Catholic Church has its own set of problems in
this area.
Why is this such a huge topic of controversy in our
churches? Simple. Because this is society's problem and we are
a part of society. The problem is not going to just go away,
whether the church wants it to or not. It would be wonderful if
the church could speak with one voice on the issue, but that is
no more likely than Republicans and Democrats in Washington
beginning to behave. And the issue is divisive enough as to
threaten to tear churches apart the way our nation was torn
before the War between the States.
With that kind of combativeness being generated over this
issue, Ephesians gives us a clue as to dealing with the matter,
not as the society for theological debate or the committee to
promote social morality, but as church. As the lesson says, "we
are all members of one body." In other words, we are in this
together, we are family, so let us treat one another the way
family wants to be treated. Yes, we can disagree on certain
issues - all families do. But, ultimately, we remember that we
are family and we will treat one another with love and respect.
In his book What's So Amazing about Grace,(5) Philip Yancey
tells about his friend Mel White, a well-known evangelical pastor
and author who announced to him one day that he is gay. Yancey
was floored because he believed then and still believes that
homosexual behavior is sinful. He had to somehow reconcile that
belief with the fact that he loved his good friend Mel with all
of his heart.
Yancey writes, "It occurred to me that my own life would be
much simpler if I had never met Mel White. But he was my friend.
How should I treat him? What would grace have me do? What would
Jesus do?"
About the reaction of Mel's family to this news, Yancey
writes, "Remarkably, Mel's wife continued to support him and
speak highly of him after the divorce; she even wrote the forward
to his book. Mel's parents, conservative Christians...had a
tougher time accepting the situation...they went through various
stages of shock and denial. At one point a TV interviewer asked
Mel's parents on camera, "You know what other Christians are
saying about your son? They say he's an abomination. What do
you think about that?'
'Well,' the mother answered in a sweet, quavery voice, 'he
may be an abomination, but he's still our pride and joy.'"
Yancey continues, "That line stayed with me because I came
to see it as a heartrending definition of grace. I came to see
that Mel White's mother expressed how God views every one of us.
In some ways we are all abominations to God - All have sinned and
fall short of the glory of God - yet somehow, against all reason,
God loves us anyhow. Grace declares that we are still God's
pride and joy."
To be honest, one of the reasons I love being pastor of this
church is that, for the most part, that IS the way folks treat
one another around here. No question, there are wide divergences
of social and theological views in these pews, but you have
learned over the years how to disagree without being
disagreeable. I applaud you and am proud of you, and I love you
for it. Keep it up!
I wish all churches could be like this. Over the course of
my years, I have seen too many civil wars under steeples, some
caused by serious issues, most by the incredibly trivial. No
matter - they are equally horrible and proof once again that
"Civil War REALLY Isn't." Echoing through the corridors of the
universe we hear the plaintive cries of the Lord of the church
sounding for all the world like David mourning over his boy, "O
my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom!" But when the
instructions of Ephesians are taken seriously, what a difference
there is.
Hear again the final admonition of the lesson and go into
the world with it resounding in your ears: "Be imitators of God,
therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love,
just as Christ loved us."
Amen!
1. See II Samuel 3:3
2. Read the story in II Samuel 13
3. II Samuel 14:28
4. Colorado Springs, CO : NavPress, 2002
5. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1997 quoted on "The Immediate Word," an internet service
for preaching at http://www.csspub.com
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